Depression

21 December 2021

Laying in bed all day
Don’t / can’t get out
Not trying enough they say
You don’t know what you are talking about

It takes an hour to get out of bed each day
Sometimes it never happens at all
Sometimes the light drives you insane
And all you wanna do is stare at the wall

There are nights you can’t fall asleep
Can’t escape the dreadful worrying
And you are pushing yourself deep
In a self constructed well of regret & crying

Everything you once loved
You don’t care about anymore
Anything that used to make you smile
Doesn’t matter and makes you bore

Don’t feel like eating
Don’t feel like shower
Don’t feel like treating
Any care at this hour

What’s day and what’s night
Everything seems to mesh
In this fate that I have devoured
If you want me to say you were right
That this is my own made mess
I won’t say because I am a coward

And I don’t know what to do anymore
Reaching out feels exhausting
No one really cares it seems
What was it all for?
Was it worth the costing? 

I want to give up so bad
Leave this mortal coil
But why can’t I muster the courage
Of even taking my own life