11 January 2022
I woke up
and didn't find you besides on the bed
I wondered these days
Where have you been?
Are my worst nightmares
Coming true?
Are you really going behind my back?
Did I do something wrong?
Did you not like my song?
Did I not tell you I loved you?
Was my love not true?
These days when you say
I love you back
It’s not the same
Feels like you are holding back
I wish I knew what was going on
In that wicked head of yours
I wish you would be honest
And I wouldn’t have to look for signs of war
You are barely home anytime
You say it’s work
But I know all of that too well
This never happened before
You leave early morning
You come late at night
You smile like I have never seen or known
I find you always staring at your phone
Date nights feel like a chore
You just fulfilling your obligation
Just tell me the truth
What is going on?
Is there someone else
Tell me what did I do
To deserve this hell
I am paranoid, I panic
I eavesdrop, I check your phone
Trust me I was never like this before
You have turned me into
someone who follows you
to work
A sociopath, in love with you
Only ever wanted the truth
And then I find you kissing
Like I have never seen you kiss before
And all of my nightmares
Have suddenly come true
The floor beneath me has escaped
And I am standing in the shadow
Of fear and regret
What did I do
to deserve this betrayal?
I just wanna run to you
And ask you why
But I also just wanna go home
And cry
I don’t understand the what or why
And you will feel the pain
I don’t know if I will survive
I don’t know if I will ever love again
Not the way I loved you
Coz it was too special
I promise I will do better
For myself, I will one day love again
And I won’t let one experience dictate my fate
So you can sleep on the couch tonight
Trust me this is the last goodbye
No explanation can get you out this time
I am sorry but you will never find me beside
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